Saturday Night Musical Outro: Lily Allen – Chinese

Saturday Night Musical Outro: Lily Allen – Chinese
Controversial Sign Removed From Beijing Restaurant, But Manager Remains Defiant
Airport Security Stumped As Traveler Tries To Check In A Human Leg
Your 2013 CBA Playoffs Preview: Can The Beijing Ducks Repeat As Champs?
Chinese UNESCO site to be graced with a McDonald's
Hong Kong seethes as government awarded Beijing critic $50000 for slamming local blockbuster
New Pope to continue awkward relationship with China

Saturday Night Musical Outro: Lily Allen – Chinese

Posted: 02 Mar 2013 05:30 AM PST

A good day to you, and goodnight. We'll be on the other side.

Controversial Sign Removed From Beijing Restaurant, But Manager Remains Defiant

Posted: 02 Mar 2013 12:00 AM PST

The Beijing restaurant manager, a man surnamed Wang, who doesn't want to serve customers from countries engaged in maritime disputes with China has removed this fairly racist sign from his Houhai establishment. He took it down Thursday by his own volition, according to AFP, but has "refused to apologise."

"I don't have any regrets," he told AFP. "I was just getting too many phone calls about it."

Well, that makes sense. This, however, does not:

"Maybe people misunderstood our meaning… it only said we would not serve customers from those countries," he said.

Um. Good clarification.

Meanwhile, we've learned that the restaurant serves "soup made with pork offal and gravy-soaked biscuits." So there. Another reason not to visit. (But we'll let you know if we do.)

Beijing restaurant removes 'racist' sign after fury (AFP)

Airport Security Stumped As Traveler Tries To Check In A Human Leg

Posted: 01 Mar 2013 11:26 PM PST

Huh. A man tried to check in a bag containing a real human leg, Guangzhou Daily reported on Tuesday. Unfortunately for him, the leg was spotted in the X-ray scan, and was seized by airport security.

"There are restrictions for transporting human organs by air," reads the second part of the GZ Daily headline.

Midday yesterday (February 25), Baiyun Airport security personnel, to their great shock, discovered via screening that a traveler on his way to Chongqing had a human leg in his carry-on. Only after inquiry did they learn that this was the traveler's own amputated leg; since local afterlife customs dictate a corpse be intact, he was bringing his stump home. But a hospital representative said hospitals usually don't permit a person to take away his own limb. Because the traveler was unable to produce a hospital certificate, the limb was not permitted onboard.

The man, Mr. Huang, had stored his leg in a big icebox, which also — we presume — violates the regulation on maximum liquid volume.

Airport security said that according to regulations, passengers must obtain prior consent from the airport to transport body parts or living specimens, and must have the proper certificates from the hospital. Mr. Huang's leg was not allowed because he lacked the paperwork. "I've been doing security check for many years, and I've never encountered something like this before," said an airport employee.

There's good news though: the airport, which obviously has no use for a leg, reportedly will mail the limb to Mr. Huang's relatives. So now, the next question: what are the relevant regulations for sending a human body part via post?

We imagine the airport folk wiping their hands together, then splaying their fingers in the air. Buck passed. Problem solved.

We do hope Mr. Huang eventually receives his leg in one piece, though. And considering the strangeness of this story, we have to say it seems all parties handled themselves admirably.

POSTSCRIPT: We owe Brian Glucroft a beer for the headline pun, and Adam Minter for the story tip.

@adamminter @beijingcream "Guangzhou Airport Security Stumped Again"

— Brian Glucroftさん (@BrianGlucroft) 2013年3月2日

UPDATE: Also see: The Nanfang on this same subject.

Your 2013 CBA Playoffs Preview: Can The Beijing Ducks Repeat As Champs?

Posted: 01 Mar 2013 08:15 PM PST

The Chinese Basketball Association playoffs got underway Wednesday, and to discuss the teams and break down the matchups, we've invited the foremost English-speaking CBA expert, Jon Pastuszek, who runs the excellent NiuBBall. Our questions to him are in bold.

(1) Guangdong vs. (8) Zhejiang

Are the Guangdong Southern Tigers the Miami Heat of the CBA this year, and is it really healthy for the league that they're going to win it all again?

In Beijing, absolutely. Elsewhere, I think the whole "sweep the leg" episode from last year caused a lot of people to turn on them. I don't know if they're the Miami Heat, but they're certainly a team that is not liked.

Is it a bad thing if they win again? I'm not so sure. I'm of the opinion that the Tigers' window is closing. Their longtime core of Wang Shipeng and Zhu Fangyu are advancing in age and they currently lack the young players who could step into their shoes. That next generation of players, Zhou Peng, Su Wei and Li Xiaoyu, crapped the bed last year against Beijing and don't look like a group who can carry the torch with confidence.

What happens if they don't win? Yi probably won't be back next season. Their mid-season coaching hire, Jonas Kazlauskas, also probably won't be back next season. Their vets will be a year older. They'll still be towards the top of the league, but they're no longer the juggernaut they once were. A lot of that has to do with the overall quality of the league improving every year, but the roster isn't what it used to be. We'll see if they have anything up their sleeves this off-season, but Guangdong's dynasty, like they all eventually do at some point, might be coming to a close.

Assess Yi Jianlian. How is this dude not in the NBA?

For Team China and in the CBA, dude is a beast because in both of those settings it's rare for a seven-footer to be as skilled and as athletic as Yi. But in the NBA, what exactly is he? It's a question that no team has been able to answer yet. He doesn't really have an NBA skill. He doesn't rebound. He's a non-passer, although he's improved a bit in that respect with all of the double teams he's seen while playing for China the last two summers. Defensively, he's a wreck. He has never shown the desire to want to play inside, which means he's floating around free-throw line and out. But he's not a good enough shooter from the three-point line to be an effective stretch big man.

He gets a lot of criticism for not being tough enough, and that's something I believed as well for a few years. But after seeing him up close with the national team these past three summers, I'm not buying that at all anymore. And if you talk to coaches who have coached him with the national team setup, they'll tell you the same thing. Not only has he stepped up and taken the challenge of being The Guy for the post-Yao Chinese, he's excelled in that role. Some of his best games have come against top competition (Spain in the Olympics, Jordan in the Asia Championship finals), and he has been among the top big men both at the 2010 World Championship and last summer at the Olympics before he got hurt. So I just think people need to think a little bit more on Yi instead of just throwing out the "soft" label and painting the whole thing over.

All that being said though, he's just not good enough for the NBA. if he decides to play in Europe next season for a Real Madrid or Barcelona, or any other top club team, he'd be fantastic. But it just goes to show you how good the players are in the NBA.

How does a team with Quincy Douby, he of the 75-point performance, not be better than 8th place?

A team who hired a head coach who wants to play up-and-down for some reason signed Eddy Curry. Your guess is as good as mine as to why.

(4) Xinjiang vs. (5) Liaoning

This figures to be the most — only? — competitive series of the first round. Break it down for us.

They're two similarly constructed teams. Both have very good Chinese players (Liaoning's are second only to Guangdong), both team's foreigners don't totally dominate the ball and they're both based in cold-as-hell cities with bad air (Urumqi and Benxi). The fact that Xinjiang was able to grab a 4th seed is noteworthy because they went through a prolonged stretch early in the season where both of their foreigners were on the shelf with injuries. They've been killing teams recently, with former NBA'er Von Wafer playing especially well. James Singleton, who missed a big chunk of the season with a knee injury, is finally back and looked like somewhat like his old self in their last regular season game.

But whereas Xinjiang is just finally getting healthy, Liaoning is limping into the postseason with two key injuries to Chinese players. But they're still capable of giving us a good series: Guo Ailun, who was on the National Team last summer, has been very effective at the point guard, while Josh Akognon can get blazing hot very quickly. Solomon Jones isn't much of an offensive threat, but his length and athleticism makes him one of the few rim protectors in the league and gives them a very versatile defensive option inside.

Liaoning has to win one of the next two games at Xinjiang… otherwise, it potentially sets up a do-or-die Game 5 in Urumqi. And with no foreign referees until the semifinals, let's put it this way: Liaoning is guaranteed to lose that one.

(3) Beijing vs. (6) Guangsha

Didn't these teams play in last year's playoffs?

Yep. And it'll end exactly like last year's: Quickly.

Beijing started the year hot, beating Guangdong and Xinjiang on the road, but went on a serious funk, got swept by Tianjin (the second worst team in the league), lost at Qingdao (the worst team in the league), lost at Bayi (always a bummer)… what is up with this Jekyll and Hyde of a team?

I think it's a team that's been pacing itself. After all, their best player is a 36-year-old point guard, Stephon Marbury, who coincidentally happens to be the best and most unstoppable player in the league. Ensuring health and fresh legs are more important than anything else. They know that when it counts in the playoffs, they're capable of turning it on. And in big regular season games (Guangdong, Xinjiang, Shandong) they've come away with results. So it's nothing to be overly concerned with in my opinion.

Odds that the Ducks repeat as champ?

I think they're pretty good. It's going to be a slugfest when they play against Shandong and their three imports in the semifinals. But up until this point (save for Tianjin, unbelievably), nobody has figured out how to to keep Marbury out of the paint. It's not like you can really gameplan for Beijing — they run very simple sets and their go-to play is Marbury spread pick-and-roll. So until somebody proves to me that they can stop that, I have to stick with the Ducks. Plus, they're playing the entirety of the playoffs at the 18,000 seat NBA-quality Wukesong Arena. Last season during the Finals against Guangdong, every game was sold out and electric. It's an advantage no other team will even come close to enjoying and I think it's something that will prove to be a difference-maker as they advance into later rounds.

(2) Shandong vs. (7) Dongguan

I have absolutely nothing to say about this series. Perhaps you do?

All the pieces have come together in Shandong this season. Of course, it's easier for that to happen when you're playing with three imports as opposed to just two, like most other teams. But this is a heck of a team; their foreigners (Pooh Jeter, Zaid Abbas and Jackson Vroman) don't dominate the ball and are all extremely unselfish, they have multiple Chinese players capable of making meaningful contributions and they consistently defend.

DongGuan meanwhile, has been picking up the pieces all season long. Lester Hudson, who was second in the league in scoring last year, went down mid-season with a broken hand. They've dealt with other injuries to their Chinese. And they've been dealing with the reality of having to balance the playing time of a very promising yet very raw potential NBA player, Li Muhao, while still winning games. Hudson is back with the team for the playoffs now, but in yet another stroke of horrible luck, their other American, CBA All-Star Marcus Haislip, sprained his ankle last weekend and is playing with a limp. These guys are impeccably coached by Brian Goorjian, and it's a tribute to him and his staff that they even made it here, but it's going to be a short series.

Finally — your first round, semifinals, and finals predictions. Go!

First round: Guangdong, Shandong, Beijing and Xinjiang.

Semi-Finals: Guangdong and Beijing

Finals: Beijing

Jon Pastuszek writes about all things Chinese hoops at NiuBBall.com. His work includes a New York Times piece about Quincy Douby and the Xinjiang Flying Tigers' 2011 playoff run, and he's previously written about Stephen Marbury for this site.

Chinese UNESCO site to be graced with a McDonald's

Posted: 02 Mar 2013 03:00 AM PST

Tianmen Mountain, in Zhangjiajie, is famous for its breathtaking views, gorgeous scenery, and ancient temples. Soon, it will also be the site of a wonderfully authentic and timeless symbol of China: a McDonald's restaurant. The restaurant will be constructed atop the 1,518-meter mountain peak, giving customers the view of a lifetime while scarfing down some greasy nuggets. [ more › ]

Hong Kong seethes as government awarded Beijing critic $50000 for slamming local blockbuster

Posted: 02 Mar 2013 03:30 AM PST

On February 26 2012, Apple Daily reported that Beijing critic 賈選凝 Jasmine Jia Xuanning won the ADC (Arts Development Council) Critic's Prize and was awarded $50,000 HKD for a critique which slams Hong Kong local blockbuster, 低俗喜劇 Vulguria, which means "Vulgar Comedy" in Chinese, for cashing in on the vilification of Mainland Chinese. Her award-winning critique theorises that the success of this "cultural trash" is banking on the jealousy of Hongkongers as "Mainland Chinese have transformed from the poor relatives of the past into today gracious masters and bosses". The fifty-thousand-dollar critique deeply offends Hong Kong netizens, who are also furious that Hong Kong government tramples on Hong Kong local culture.

Jia, a 24-year-old graduate of Beijing Film Academy and Hong Kong Chinese University School of Journalism and Communication, is found to be a reporter of Wenweipo, an organ of Beijing, and have written an article criticising Apple Daily for abusing press freedom. She also has columns in Mingpao, Hong Kong Economic Journal and Yazhou Zhoukan. Her winning has even turned into a scandal for ADC since 2 out of the 6 judges of the competition know her.

The director of Vulgaria, 彭浩翔 Pang Ho-cheung, retaliated by organising two charity screenings of the movie for Hong Kong Mental Health Foundation on March 2nd and 3rd and appearing in the first screening with the male lead, 杜汶澤 Chapman To. The two screenings were sold out instantly.

The two charity screenings of Vulguria are all sold out.

The "awarding-winning" critique

(*Spoiler: The two mules are the "wives" of the Guangxi gang boss)

Seeing through the anxiety of Hong Kong movies from Vulgalria (Excerpt)

Substituting "Localisation" with "Vulgarisation" Surreptitiously

As a prominent figure of the younger generation of Hong Kong directors, Pang Ho-cheung has been seen as the one reviving Hong Kong movies by many fans in recent years. Seemingly, he grasped the formula of this low-budget and high-grossing Hong Kong-style sketch to define "the identity of Hong Kong movies", which has been nibbling by China-Hong Kong co-production ones. In fact, it is like many other irresponsible cultural products of this city, encouraging Hongkongers to become more anti-intellectual, more careless with vulgarity and even proud of it.

Ever since Love in a Puff, the magic wands of Pang's box office successes have been the sale and consumption of vulgarity. Majority of the dialogue, which is filled with Cantonese obscenity, gratifies local audiences: Pang surreptitiously substitutes "localisation" with "vulgarisation", making people feel shameless about bad taste, as this is the "local taste of Hong Kong". The vileness of Vulgaria as a literary film is that it enhances audiences' gratification, so much so that vulgarity becomes something to be proud of rather than ashamed of, and it even self-legitimises vulgarity: "Nothing is the most vulgar. There is only more vulgar."

What is the meaning of this movie? For them (Hong Kong fans), at least there is a local creator who is willing to tailor a movie "just" to please local audiences and target the local movie market. However, this is the most terrifying part – because it is "just" for Hong Kong.

The success of Vulgaria proves that Pang successfully uses cultural rubbish to entertain the public. It also proves that Hong Kong movies and local cultural products have an "unwritten rule": "vulgarisation" is the mainstream of popular "localisation".

Narrow-mindedness and Fear Behind "Anti-Mainlandisation"

The appearance of Vulgaria is very "localised". However, its conflict of dramaturgy is a "co-production". The movie is about how Chapman To gets investment from a Mainland Chinese. Exactly because of interest, an actual reason, Hong Kong has become more and more passive in front of China, and its subjectivity has become more and more vague. Mainland Chinese have transformed from the poor relatives of the past into nowadays gracious masters and bosses, and Hongkongers certainly found it hard to swallow.

Vulguria offers Hongkongers a cheap emotional release, using an extremely humiliating way to blacken Mainland Chinese name: the Guangxi gang boss is so barbaric and licentious that he is into bestiality; Hong Kong audiences get high from ridiculing the stupidity and savageness of Mainland Chinese. Basically, the vilification and ridicule are a narrow-minded "mental victory", trying hard to state that even though Hongkongers accept that they are "vulgar", they can't be compared to the anomaly and absurdity of Mainland Chinese at all; the "civilisation" of Hong Kong is tainted by Mainland Chinese "uncouthness". For instance, on Facebook, news of Mainland Chinese tourists' children obeying the call of nature on the street is insanely shared. This completely matches with the main theme the movie delivers: Mainland Chinese are "locusts" and savages who can do whatever vulgar things that get one's hackles up.

The "vulgarity" of Hongkongers is using obscenity at most. On the other hand, the vulgarity of Mainland Chinese is no different from animals: the setting of Vulgaria reflects Hongkongers' anxiety towards China has become distorted. China can be the merciful master, yet, it can't subdue the heart of Hongkongers; Hongkongers submit themselves to the powerful and prosperous economic aspect of China. Yet, they decided that they are not willing to forgo their remnant sense of superiority in the spiritual aspect. This conflicting relationship makes the psychology of Hongkongers struggles like Chapman To in the film: on the surface, they ingratiate themselves with Mainland Chinese; deep inside of their hearts, they feel "being raped". They cannot agree with the "low quality" of Mainland Chinese, but they are being assimilated into Mainland Chinese. When Hong Kong is front of China, it feels the loss of dignity and destruction of the bottom line. At this vulnerable moment, the morbid China-Hong Kong relation becomes more and more intense.

*****NOT YET COMPLETED. JUST PUBLISH FIRST*****

New Pope to continue awkward relationship with China

Posted: 02 Mar 2013 01:50 AM PST

The Chinese government apparently sees the Pope's resignation as a chance to lay the groundwork for the new guy, saying (essentially), "steer clear of Taiwan, and—by the way—you're not the Pope to Chinese Catholics, so stop excommunicating them." The AFP estimates that half of Chinese Catholics are of the Pope-following kind, although real numbers are hard to come by, due to the whole "illegality" thing. It's possible that the Chinese leadership will get over its Pope-phobia sometime in the future, but these interviews done by the AFP don't look promising. [ more › ]

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